Maverick's Space

2011-09-06T01:29:00.002+08:00

Lost my will, yet found a light,

I never knew how it could delight,

However I know that I couldn't cross that line,

For the loss of that would destroy my mind,

Every attempt I try to escape this pain,

Only leads my mind to retain,

That certain thought of what could've been,

And yet I can never find out nor be seen,

I laugh, trying to hide my emotions,

Never expecting to let it go into the oceans,

I can only stay here in silence,

For I know this is where I could stay conscious,

I wish deep into my heart for others happiness,

Even at the expense of my own happiness,

All I could hope is that you have a good life,

For that is what you would wish me to have to strife,

Yet living in this life wouldn't help me at all,

Cause in the end, I know I would fall,

I could rewrite this over and over again,

And in the end, the stories could never progress,

Destiny has a funny way of performing,

And sometimes the stage is always deforming,

Emotions are but a pain in my heart,

For nothing else could be this hard,

My lips are sealed for one reason,

A reason never to be revealed,

I hope everything works out for you,

Because I am not your one true.

2011-09-01T23:53:00.002+08:00

Lost in pain, I now my place,

every hope is but a disgrace,

I left my heart with another,

yet fear let me lose my way,

Here I stand, without any help,

even with those around, I keep to myself,

I know myself well, but I can never fight it,

left with just my own, a hellish cycle,

Every sight just makes me silent,

and some silence just brings a client,

Pain always stays there, unable to ever be diminished,

and my life lost its priorities, always tarnished,

My words tells my stories, it depends if you listen,

For if you don't, then my view of you is lessen,

I can't love again, I must forbid myself to,

Yet it slips through the cracks, through everything broken through,

I am but a shell, unable to live a life,

And I can only hope others strife,

2011-01-03T00:22:00.002+08:00

I know, it's kinda late for this sort of thing, but I think I should have this. Yes, 01/01/11 has come, and I, myself, did nothing to celebrate it. On New Year's Eve, the final day of 2010, I stayed at home, awaiting my friends to call on me, which they, sadly enough, didn't. I have to admit though, it wasn't that bad staying up home. I only wished that I could've gotten together with someone just to spend the day with her.

But the day came to a close eventually, and I, Maverick, have no true regrets in 2010. I have changed, and that is something I confirm.I kept my friends closer this time, ensuring no small arguments would change. I have found those I can truly trust, and those I can always count on to be by me in troubled times. Syadibat, Winston, the two of you are some that I can call brothers, and I never really give out that title easily with what I have been through. Ups and downs we have been through together, and I know more will follow, but I shall stick by you if you need me, and nothing will change that. Djasin, Zakyruga, the two of you are different, although we aren't truly close, I still count on the two of you as closest a friend could be. Your company always fills my laughter, and happiness is always in your agendas. I thank the two of you for being around when I need someone.

Another change in me is the sense of openness I have suddenly. In NYP, I am not the man whom I once was in Secondary School. I enjoy more open friendships, and willingly make friends to those I took a liking to. My class, ME1005, is one of the best class I had so far. Like every other class, we have our moments, and we get along quite fine. NeshBoi, you are a brother that I can count on in relationships. We both know of our weakness, and we will always help one another. The rest of you are important to the class, and I don't know what could happen without each one of you.

Now, however, comes the more interesting fact. The year 2010 proved to be the year of love for me. Yes, you heard it. I have fallen for a girl, who I didn't thought would have come through. Wiwie, you know it's something that you didn't expect to happen, and neither did I. It blossomed into something beautiful, something words can never describe. I know that my heart can never be taken away from your palms, and I bow myself to your love. My undying love will always be yours till our time comes. It is funny how we came across one another. I never did thought we would be at this stage.

So, in the end, 2010 bought both great and painful memories. I have lived without a girl, and with a girl, and now, I am glad I met her. 2011, however, bought a different beginning of the year. Enjoyed an entire day out with her, and never once I regret looking into her eyes. The smile on her face brightens up my day, and the touch of her hands on mine just gives me a tingling feeling. They say love is true when you do stupid things for her. For now, I have not pass that, but I just have a good feeling that I would gladly do it, even if it means my life. Until next time, Have a happy new year, and enjoy the beginning of school.

PS, Syg, just nk pandai-pandai ask me to do something ridiculous just cause of what I say. Yes I know you. :P

2010-11-05T16:07:00.000+08:00

Was just browsing around and found a couple of good music videos. Skillet seems to be an unknown as far as I could tell, but they are definitely a good band. The singer definitely sounds great, while the drummer has a heck of a voice. God damn.

2010-10-24T23:26:00.002+08:00

I want to take this time to respect the man named Fernando Jose Torres Sanz. Though at an age of 26, he has proven to be one of the best foreign talents ever in Premier League history. Even when injured, he still performs exceptionally and is always on the look out for the goal. A constant threat in the air or grounded to the pitch, fear endlessly flows against any defender asked to mark him. At a young age, he started out greatly enough, and was extremely talented. He joined the ranks of Atletico Madrid at a young age, eventually rising to the rank of captain at the young age of 19. His loyalty, however commendable, proved fruitless as he got lured into the game of English, where he was bought to Anfield in a deal costing £21.5 million. At his first season, he wasn't troubled to get a 33-goal, ensuring his name as the best foreign talent in the league, with Ruud Van Nisteroy beaten. He constantly have a high goal ratio, and is one of the best talent the world could offer.

Yes, El Nino is definitely one of the best players bought by Liverpool. Donning the No. 9 jersey left by our great Robbie Fowler, he deserved the number and is one of the greatest Liverpool strikers to actually play in Liverpool, compared to Micheal Owen of the old. And a little trivia, he is actually a goalkeeper before he switched his position to striker. Yes, El Nino was a goalie. Surprise!

2010-10-23T14:47:00.000+08:00

Tonight's going to be... wait for it... awesome

2010-10-18T00:48:00.001+08:00

FUBAR

2010-09-14T00:58:00.002+08:00

2010-09-14T00:07:00.002+08:00

Alright! After how many days of not slacking with the Kaki Gerek, I finally did! Today, I enjoyed the full fledged day with everyone, or mostly everyone. Woke up at 1 o'clock, and by 2 I went out to meet Bro Tyler. I reached by 2.45 pm, and then I have to actually wait for the man. Yeah, it was rather tiresome, but it wasn't all that boring. After a while, he comes out with a dyed hair. Yes, it was a reddish brown color(Brownish red if you want to believe that) and it was rather clear. So we then met up with Saibamon, Drew, Hakimmy and Fil, disturbed them here and there and immediately saw Santos came. After a while, everyone went home, me, Drew, Tyler and Dodoreen(Who was late) went off towards Three Playground, met with Djasin, Santos(went home and came back) and Friday. Syadibat came after that and we slacked for a while. Let me warn you, playing Blind mice after eating a DOUBLE MCSPICY isn't a smart move. It really isn't I swear to you.

Planning to post some pics later after this, since I hate using this to put inside. So soon every picture of HRA will be here! Till then.

2010-09-11T23:05:00.003+08:00

Today is the second day of Hari Raya Aidilfitri. I must say, it has been a blast for as long as it is. Spending time with the whole family, not just my own, is quite a blast. It has been a long while since I actually saw everyone together. This is what happened when we are together(This is the second day of HRA)

The actual plan was to eat at some place near to the Bedok Interchange. But it didn't fall through since there was a crowd there. We then made our way to Bedok North St 3, to a place that apparently has a history. For the first time in how many years that even I lost count, the whole family, 4 different ones(5 in actual fact but since they are together it isn't my problem) are together at a place. It was quite a gathering that they had to get us some tables. It was a rather fun time. After visiting around 4-5 houses, which we made quite a ruckus, we just went and eat with the family. Our dearly beloved yet sadistic Busu as always went on hitting either me, Rplayer, or Wan Oligarchy. It was a rather normal sight for all of us now. Mister Arfan though was extremely noisy. Yet somehow the brotherhood between six of us aren't easy to break. Even if Nurismah, Irsyad and Irfaan leaves far away, they are still considered brothers and sister to me. One of these days, they will do great, since Irfaan already has the mind of a sadistic man.

I still have a bit of houses to go to before actually finally having the time for myself. Soon, Kaki Gerek(or the new one) would be going off to Hari Raya out together! Times a wasting guys. Drew, Friday, Santos, Tyler, Hakimmy, Dodoreen, Fil, B. Heng, Syadibat, Djasin, Zacky, Muhd, and Hafizah. When will the time come before we go out? I can't wait! bringing my camera for sure yo!

2010-09-08T00:52:00.002+08:00

Woohoo! The time has come for the ends of the exams! As of 7th September 2010 at exactly 2.30pm, I have ended my last exams for my semester. One thing is for sure, whatever happens in the future one month, it is something I am ready to take responsibility for it. Now, I am going to do one thing and one thing only. Be fucking free of my responsibilities and enjoy my life to the fullest. Yes, that means going out as much as I can, do something I am interested in and finally, drink as much as I can! As for those who thought I am actually going to drink alcohol, you pretty much got it wrong cause I am not going to. I might do some things, but never am I going to drink or take drugs. I might be an asshole but I have principles.

Now, I have a rather retarded confession to make. I didn't study that much for that stupid Manufacturing test. EG1212, something I would have to do again indefinitely for my next semester. I actually slept, woke up at 10.30am. Quick shower and getting ready, and off I go for school for the last time. However, I forgotten to take a pen with me, since I was rushing, and my mom took such a long time to come down that the only bus 86 which goes to my school passed and I had to be forced to take a cab there. Shag since I had to pay $10 for it. The exams went off well. 5 minutes used for Multi-choice Questions and a good 25 minute for one question in Section B. Yes I think failing is definitely my option. Half an hour into it and already I saw dozen of people going out of the room. Seeing that staying around there would be too boring, I decided to just get the fuck out of there. The third person in my class to do that. After that, went with Syadibat to slack, decided to eat out today, leaving me with no money whatsoever. Damn. But we went to my house for a moment to check on the bloody cake 'kukus'. No one at home and leaving it without any supervision whatsoever is a very stupid idea. I honestly thought someone would actually be at home and just see to it, but no, all of us went out and left it without supervision. Damn. But Syadibat and me when home and we just pretty much sleep and watched Shaolin Soccer. No subtitles though so too bad.

After that, we went to Bedok to wait for the time to break our fast. An hour left, we went to a playground placed under a block. We slept there, or rather Syadibat tried to sleep and I disturb him to stay awake. Ate at the Community Center and then met with the gang. Kongster, Dodoreen, Bro Tyler, Friday, Boys Fil and Kim, Santos. Drew and our Pak Cik couldn't come down so yeah. Slacked at the three playgrounds and played blind mice. Yes, a small kid game made for adults. Jumped here and there, and we hid from the blind buggers excellently. After that was Crocodile! Rather boring, since immediately after that we played Pepsi Cola! Yes, it was such an old game but somehow it was fun. We made it that way. Trust me, sometimes reliving the past games are excellent ways to pass times.

Now then, after that had to go back due to mom forcing me, as expected. Reached home at 12.05, 55 minutes before I said my mother that I would reach home. She looked at me through the window as I got out the cab(Yes again) and then just went home. Now here I am, slacking at home and waiting for the time to pass. Tomorrow, well, that is another time. Alright guys, now is that time again. I am going to relax and watch movies and such. Till next time, cheerio!

2010-09-07T01:47:00.004+08:00

Today will be the day I actually have to succeed in a subject that I dislike beyond reckoning. Manufacturing Technology, a by far retarded subject(of course in my opinion) and indefinitely the most tiresome. Of course, I am being biased, since I had a teacher who is exceptionally bored and doesn't talk all that well. Everyone says it, he mumbles like a motherfucker. Yes, seriously, he doesn't even teach, he just talks to himself for a good 2 hours or 1 hour, and just goes off. And I always see him alone, not even with any other teacher. The old man must really be senile doing these things. Mechatronics Engineering is by far a confusing, not difficult, subject. Having Maths, Physics and of course Design and Technology is by far not a good choice for me, seeing that I did averagely for those three subjects. Well, maybe not Maths and Design and Technology.

But today, a test to prove I can pass the subject. It is difficult for sure, since I never did study, or I did but only gaze some of it. It is a type of subject that needs total concentration to understand every fact in it, but with someone of my attention span, I highly doubt it. I can try though, since without trying there won't be any success. But there is one thing for certain. There can be no success without failure, thus meaning I have to fail to pass my subject, or something like that.

But today, I enjoyed life outside without studying, an irony since I had exams tomorrow/today. Met up with Mister Friday, Bro Tyler, Drew, Kongster and Dodoreen. We slacked for a while, doing nothing but play cards. After a while, four out of five went home to break fast/sleep, leaving me and Friday to enjoy our dinner outside, which, I must say, was something I thoroughly found out that Friday is very very shy. Ask him to tell the story, which is by far dumb. Yes Friday, I am bringing it up until the day I forget. After that, Santos, Djasin, and Syadibat came down and the latter two was going to study, something I did plan with the last boy though it didn't came through. In the end, I didn't, and I have to bear the consequences of not making my admin card, again. Sometimes, it is just so troublesome to do this things. I gotta make it tomorrow, and go take it on Wednesday. It will be quite a busy day.

As for now, boys and girls, I have to get to studying. I need to try to get some marks at least just for the sake of showing my parents I did something. For my parents sake, I just want to do something for them. Something important. After what I have witness of my family, I just want things to go back to the way it was. I just want to see happiness radiating inside our family. Every single fight we had, every single argument that happened, I just wished everything just goes away. I rather have a fairy tale ending for my family than having a girlfriend for my own life. Everything I do, I can see it was for my family. It wasn't for me to actually find a girl of my dreams, or the perfect woman. No, it was for the benefit of my family. It has always been that. Wishing and dreaming is something that is not logical, but keeping to my words is something logical. My family is important beyond a doubt. Even if I am to spend my life alone for the rest of my life, as long as my family regain the happiness they once hold, I would be happy. My life would be complete.

2010-09-05T22:16:00.004+08:00

Today I decided to pay my respects to others. I went to the graveyard today, seeing four grandparents that I barely remember. I feel like I have lost someone dear to me, even though we didn't get to spend time together. I fear my memories has begun to dwindle, losing their faces in the process. Tok Ayah, my last grandparent that I remembered seeing. He was an avid man, never one to lose his smile when in the midst of his family. I find it hard to not remember him that much. Memories does tend to fade, but sometimes I rather retain it. My grandmother from my mother side is someone I never met, but I feel so glad to have her. She is with me in spirit always, as is her husband. I might not have seen them when I was born, but they will always guide me in my life. Every grandparent I have means I have their blood, and their blood will continue to live in my veins and that of my child until the end of times. Uncertainty might rule the future, but surely my dearly departed grandparents would lead me to the way of respecting them and my parents. Even if I won't have them seeing my child, they will learn of them, and my child would respect them no matter what. I only hope that I can remember their faces, and respect their lives as they have lived it.

As we were looking for one of the grave sites of my departed grandparents, we came across a rather peculiar sight, and I mean peculiar. Here is what I saw.

For those who don't know what the heck that is, I can only guess that it would either be a snake skin or a snake itself. As per Wan Oligarchy said(he has experience with it trust me), this might be a water snake. It was a surprising sight for sure. Other than that, we enjoyed a rather relaxing time finding our grandparents, and the rain only made it more tiring. I love it so much I wished I could've slept, but I keep on remembering the time where I actually saw happiness with my family when we actually did this every year when I was small. Breaking our fast outside with my uncles and their family, it was by far different now. But I don't blame anyone. The family always had trouble finding time, and all of them are unlikely to let down when they are in a heated argument. But I find myself happy, just for that moment, to actually see my father and brothers happy.

Now, for a side note, Jamie Carragher, Mr. 23 of Liverpool F.C, is in need of a salute from every Liverpool fan. More than 500 appearance in the Liverpool vice-captain, the man definitely is one of the best, if not the greatest, home grown talent. Starting his career from an apprentice back in October 1996, the man gradually became the best talent find in the world during that time. He began to become known in 1997, after being called up in the England U-21 at the age of 18. He was used in the Coca Cola Championship, debuting as a sub for Rob Jones. He eventually got his first true debut in the Premier League a year later, January 18, where he capped it off with a rare goal. One of the only England player to have the ability to play at four different positions, though all defensive wise, he earned regular starts, going from full-back towards the heart of the defense as soon as former manager Rafael Benitez took over. From there, his England career flourished, only stopping a year due to the injuries he took. But still, the imposing figure was the most impressive defenders up to date, compared to only a few England defenders left like John Terry.

I believe Carragher has the ability to lead the team towards victory one day. He would receive a medal for his utmost performance. An Istanbul hero such as Steven Gerrard, he is a figure no one could erase in Liverpool. No one would be as established as the man in the heart of the defender. You will never walk alone.

2010-09-04T23:28:00.004+08:00

Ah another day of peace and tranquility. It is kind of silent without being with my friends, and I am sorry for not coming down today since I really can't. Thought maybe they could come down here but I guess they wouldn't be able to. Sorry Tyler. But I did get to buy my Hari Raya shoes, the first time my 2ND brother Wan Oligarchy bought something for me. I guessed that is why I feel so weird today. Never thought it would happen. :D

Now, I spent my day in a very quiet place. Stayed home the whole day, and the plan where I was suppose to meet up with Tyler and we going out to buy our Raya clothes pretty much failed. I guess, since he is going to be busy, I will be going with my brothers. One this is for sure, I have to go to Bugis Street to buy shirts and other stuff. I am looking for a necklace to wear, something that won't break. Should have something like that around there.

Broke fast by eating Mi Rebus, something I don't really like eating. It was yuck but I had to eat it since there isn't anything else to eat. Then my two brothers and me went out to enjoy a day's out, and after buying my shoes, we went to buy Kentucky Fried Chicken! Rplayer said he would pay for food for me so I was happy. :D

Seeing as how my brother used $60 to buy this, I would appreciate it a lot. I am definitely going to wear this a lot. :D

Now, for a different look, Liverpool XI has won against Everton XI. Liverpool bought back players who definitely was the best Liverpool team ever. The team includes: Jerzy Dudek, Stephen Wright, Steve Finnan, Stephen Warnock, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Emile Heskey, Michael Owen, Luis Garcia, Jamie Carragher, Jay Spearing, Brad Jones, Paul Konchesky, Ryan Babel, Jonjo Shelvey, Andre Wisdom, Nathan Eccleston, Daniel Ayala, Gary McAllister, Suso, Raheem Sterling, Conor Coady, David Thompson, Jason McAteer.

For those who had no clue of people like Warnock and Finnan and Stephen Wright and Danny Murphy, they were all inside Liverpool as youths(All except for Steve Finnan) but they were unable to break through the first team thus they moved on to other clubs as you would see them around the Premier League. Yes, before Liverpool had the illustrious history of bringing the best English Players there is onto England's team. The few to be named would be Micheal Owen, Robbie Fowler and Emile Heskey(Yes three first team strikers of Liverpool used as England's best), Stevie G and of course Jamie Redknapp(creativity midfielders), Kirkland( Yes Christopher Kirkland) was one of the most impressive keepers to be in England once, and even players like Danny Murphy and Warnock. Liverpool has the best record of getting English player playing for first team in England. That's why I have chosen to respect Liverpool, supporting them even through troubled times.

2010-09-04T03:33:00.002+08:00

Seems that it is time where I come back around here right? It has been quite a long while since I actually wrote anything here, seeing that most of my friends said this is kinda 'girlish'. Well now I want to make this place totally open to 'emo' feelings. I am going to enjoy writing this.

Now, to begin, half a year of Poly life has passed, and I must say I am slightly disappointed in myself. It is harder to actually pass this than expected, and my first brother, one who calls himself Rplayer[and yeah I am not going to call out everyone's name from now on], is telling me that he will reward me by going with me at a place called 'Chocolate Heaven' or something of that sort. And I must say I am compelled to do it. But I would rather have the whole family follow me to a nice quiet place and just enjoy the day together. That is all I always wanted for this life.

My exams have passed, though I have on paper left. I fear I won't be doing well for maths, as anticipated, but I did well enough for Engineering Mechanics. I am confident I can pass, and now I just want to aim for one final hurdle in this part of the semester. Once I have done that, I can finally enjoy life until the end of the holidays, and concentrate fully on getting marks I have been aiming for.

Hari Raya is coming, and finally after three weeks of fasting, we can end it with a good smile. I am going to enjoy this year. I just have a good feeling this year for some reason. Even amidst the animosity throughout the family, I have a good feeling we can do what we aim to do. And I can't wait to go out with all my friends. I want to finally enjoy their company, and I have finally found a group I can stay throughout. Tyler, you know you are one of the best brother I can find who isn't the same blood. Know that I have your back no matter what life I go through.

Now, a side note. I have a very interesting hobby I want to accomplish. My second brother, Wan Oligarchy, found interesting stuffs that by far I could never believe. Suddenly I feel so compelled to go around Singapore to find sites where it would have meaning to. This, by far, is the most interesting fact I have seen so far, as done by Wan Oligarchy.

Yes, it is the Merlion, but not the ones we see. As Wan Oligarchy found out, this are the five sanctioned Merlions in Singapore.

1) Sentosa (The big ones with laser blasting out of its eyes around 8pm)
2) The mother Merlion at the Merlion Park
3) The baby Merlion at the Merlion Park
4) Another at the Tourism Court and lastly
5) One 3m Merlion at Mount Faber.

Thus, these Two Merlions are of unknown origins. Are they real, hidden among the island just for the sake of showing? Or is there a deeper meaning here, showing someone actually sculptured these Merlions without the Singapore Tourism Board knowing? Whatever it was, my brother has inspired me to find more National Treasures of Singapore, and I plan to. Tyler, Santos, Kong, Friday, care to join?

2010-04-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

So I have finally returned, after a long, long hiatus. You can wonder what happened to me, for I refuse to tell too much on my past. I lost almost everything, but regained almost everything within five months. I quit my job, and ready myself for the term of school that will take a hell lot out of me. I plan to accomplish things I haven't accomplish before in my life. I swore to myself to find the path that I actually haven't been seeing for a long while. Before, I could only see myself as someone who relaxes at everything, enjoying life eventhough I see that I am not at my full potential. But no more...

Now, I shall be more than before. I shall go fully in my new Polytechnic life. Whether I find a girl or not is something I can't say, but I will find my way to give my family an extremely good life. I will work hard this time around, and get a high result no matter what. I want to do everything to accomplish this. My mind is set. I will do it. Even if it kills me, I will accomplish my dream for it. I hope everyone can help me. Please for the love of god, help me get myself to do make this dream a reality...

2009-10-26T20:03:00.002+08:00

So as of right now, I am troubled. But that isn't important. I mean sure, I came late for my English O level's paper 1 and didn't finished it. Then sure I had a worse turn of event ever since what the last time it happened? So as of right now, my mind is in total disarray and it's a wonder how I manage to even write now. So many things going through my mind, so little time for me to get them all straight. I wonder what will happen? Will I snap and kill myself? or will I just be ok and continue on? If I did, will I pass my exams? or fail miserably to the extent I do kill myself? Well, I would love to see that, since I am a part of it. I have been thrown aside every single time, so now is no different. Guess I got to find out if I would ever recover... Meh not important. I have totally lost it anyways..

Heh, who knew I would be soo affected by it.. So yeah guys, have fun and good bye.

2009-10-24T21:57:00.002+08:00

I think it is safe to say I am reaching my limits. No matter what I freaking do I get the same ending. As in seriously, I am getting really annoyed by it. Not talking to me is one thing, not even replying my messages is alright, but totally ignoring me everytime is totally not needed. Seriously I do want this to work out, but somehow you don't want that do you? So fine.. I am really not able to hold out this long. You want to see the bad side of me right? That can be arranged. I am at the wits end honestly. I really want to stop doing this, but seriously, you leave me no choice. You already enjoyed not talking to me right, so yeah now I guess I will do just that. Seriously, it is really a nuisance right for me to disturb you, but when all the other guys do its alright right? I mean sure, you wanted to study at the weekends, but what happened to that? Rather than being together you wanted to go to whose house? Heck, you said you wanted to study but in the end you didn't. I bet you didn't want to be with me at all did you? Was it pity then? Like how you did the same to the other guy? Was I just pitied by you to the extent you just agreed to be with me just for the sake of not seeing me be depressed? Were the times you ssaid you love me real? Or just a lie that I couldn't decipher? I guess even if you said I know you, I really don't. So yeah have fun not talking to me. Enjoy your exams.

2009-10-22T20:37:00.003+08:00

Since I got an itch to write, I will do just that. It'll be short though. Nothing much happened.. And its the 4th day since I talked to her... Sadly enough.. Our anniversary is coming up.. I really wished she would forgive me.. but it is up to her.. I feel worse everyday.. even with friends it ain't helping.. I prefer to be alone these days without her with me.. And she is right.. I should stop disturbing her.. only when she wants to talk to me should I talk to her.. I am just too stupid to get that through.. *sighs* I would probably go to sleep now.. not like anything fruitful will come about.. I keep on imagining her with me.. holding her tightly.. but seems that won't happen anytime sooner.. Stupid exams.. *sighs* well, good luck to those having exams.. I wish you all a relaxing time..

E- Entering
X- X-ing
A- Area
M- Momentarily

Heh dunno what the fuck is that.. but yeah good luck to all.. Hope to those who are planning to go to poly go through.. See you at the other side guys..

2009-10-21T21:46:00.002+08:00

Everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of someone. Yeah, I know it has been a long long while since I posted but I decided to post now. Cause right now, I just feel so troubled knowing I hurt her. I really wished I didn't do that... I know it was a mistake of mine. I accept it... But not talking to you is killing me.. I am trying my best not to distract you.. to make you sad.. but I know sooner or later.. I will go crazy.. Cause of not being able to be with you.. It will do just that...

Like the song said.. Somehow I found.. The way to get lost in you hun.. I am drowning with your love. I can never get enough of you. Honestly speaking.. I can never have enough of you in my life hun. I don't know if I can ever get you to believe me anymore. I would do anything to get you to say you forgive me. I really feel guilty about it.. Please hun.. I am sorry.. I can't feeling guilty.. it's eating at me.. I would rather die than let you feel soo sad through the things I did.. please hun.. please forgive me.. please I am soo sorry..

2009-05-10T20:32:00.001+08:00

Short update!

I finally got a Facebook account. Since everyone is using this, I thought I just could get it. So now I have. Add me up in Facebook if you could.

Well, thats it. Bye ya all!

2009-05-09T17:08:00.002+08:00

Another update!

This weekdays was uneventful. Did nothing much. Had my exams starting and well, I am trying to get good marks, not to fail again. Problem is my lack of concentration though. Damn it.

Let's see, Friday, after taking my English and MT paper 2, I relaxed with Arshad and his friends, Zaki and Haziq. Went to Bedok to relax, went up to the place we always go when lepaking, and then bastard Arshad. But soon after that, watched movie! Actually thought of going back first but didn't have time. Went to Eunos at 530 and quickly took the train that went to Outran Park. Then waited for my first brother and then went to Harbourfrount. Didn't expect to go there to watch a movie!

My dad was kind hearted yesterday and we went to watched Wolverine: X-Men Origins. Now that a cool show. A Marvel fan, that's why I liked it. And the whole family was there, so it was a real family bonding time.

My second bro bought along a friend, and I didn't expect this to happen, that his friend is a comic geek. And then my first bro is also one, so they started talking about Marvel, street fighter and more things that made me want to laugh. That was a real fun time. Took the train back, then reached home at around 11. From there, me and my brothers played Championship Managers 01/02! Played all the way till 6 in the morning!

Today? Nothing yet is happening. But who knows right? Hehe. See ya'all later.

2009-04-19T16:04:00.002+08:00

Well, another update. Like I said, sorry for the lack of updates. Had alot to do lately. First things first, School. Well, it is getting better I think. My mid years are coming close so I am really scared of flunking it. Not as confident as before. But I would try my best to accomplish what I set out to. This week was a little uneventful. Friday was a tiresome day. Damn Speech Day. Had to go to it, eventhough I wanted to run away from it. Seriously, we don't get anything or even do anything but stand up, clap our hands, and sit down. So why the hell are we invited? I don't know. It was very retarded and we ended up staying until 730. I almost fell asleep in between the prize giving. The UG performance was a joke. No offense to those in it. They were dancing than doing anything else. Of course, NCC took command of it. Like always. The sports showing was nice and cool. Nothing that fancy and was pretty cool to be truthful. I just have to say that NCDCC is really losing its reputation, with the people becoming more like lazy and such.

After that, hung out with a long time friend. It was okay I guess. Never did a lot but it has been a long while since we hung out. But damn him talking about gf. Man felt sad then. But what the heck. Ended up going back at 10+, the second time I came back late, which was fun! Hehe... Went back and wqanted to play Winning Eleven with my brother, but was too tired to even keep my eyes open and slept at 12.

Next day was another uneventful day. Not much happened. Slacked at home till what, 6? Then Ashaidil called to tell me today we got practice session for our upcoming Take the Stage. I was like crap, why tell me so late. But went to meet them, and was an hour late. -_-"

But we sat that and practiced. Well, them anyway. I don't know the bass for the song they are playing so I was an extra there. Then, while we were practicising, well they were and I was sitting at a corner, two girls came and asked if we were in a band. Surprised, I told them the others were better, not me. They asked if they could burrow my guitar, which I gave, though Izzuddin was scared they would run with it. They played quite a distance away before returning it. Too bad we didn't asked for their numbers. God damnit.

After that, we relaxed and then one by one, we went home. Ashaidil went first on his bike, then Ahmad cause he is late. Then me, since my dad picked me up. What? Free ride home. Midway, I met the two girls again, waved and went on. Then met Faiz, Elmizam, Ashraf, and their gangs. Don't really remember who was there cause I was rushing like hell. Said hi and went off too. Took my dad's cab and went home, after doing nothing. That night, watched Chelsea VS Arsenal for FA Cup semis. That was fun. Chelsea was down by 1-0 due to a deflection from Ashley Cole after Walcott kicked the ball quite a distance away. Cech wasn't able to save the ball. But soon after that, Mister Malouda performed surprisingly well. He kicked from also a distance and it past through second choice keeper Fabianski by the corner. Then Chelsea proceeded to win 2-1 somehow. damn it. But I was rooting for them. Hehe. I noticed all the so called best keepers are going down. Edwin Van Der Sar is now underperforming, conceding dozens of goals. And Petr Cech is also underperforming. Is it a bad day for keepers all around? Who knows.

Well, that's it. Today is another day. Good luck to everyone for the year. Hope you get what you want. Good bye.

2009-04-05T18:19:00.005+08:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, I have been real busy and barely got to play the com. And even when I do I am too lazy to write. Now too, since I have to do some homework. Let me sum up my week. Simple, boring and sleepy at school, excitingly found friends outside of it. Made new friends and got back together with old. Feel pretty bored coz I wanna buy a bag but was rejected only until the last moment. But now I get to buy a new bag. Now I only need some new clothes and I am happy. The things I want to get:

A Bag
Clothes
New jeans
Liverpool things
Shoes
Happiness

Well those are the things I want to get, but it is hard, since I have no money. Sigh. Let us continue. Saturday was exciting at night, seeing Liverpool against Fulham. Man, I stayed up just to see the match. It was exciting in a sort, Liverpool and Fulham both have chances to score. Four shots almost went in for Liverpool, but it failed to happen as it hit the post! It was very scary. And who would have expected a 1-0win at such a late time. Yossi Benayoun, the Isreal international who came in for the ever performing Dirk Kuyt, scored the only goal at injury time! It was a biggest shock ever. Mark Schwarzer, the Australian and Fulham goalkeeper, was astounded. He was lucky throughout the match, praying to the woodworks to save the ball. It was an average performance by Liverpool, who was saved by the grace of the Isreal international. That is twice he saved Liverpool. How long more would he upset the opponent?

Well, I will end here. Gotta do homework. Sad. meh, have fun ya all!

2009-03-15T14:58:00.003+08:00

The Holidays is here, though I doubt I will do anything. Just going to enjoy it simply. Hehe! Yahoo to the Holidays!! Yesterday was the most biggest soccer match ever, Liverpool vs Manchester United! The match was as much a surprise as the winners. Who knew the match will end in 4-1, with Liverpool thrashing Manchester United! A score by Cristiano Ronaldo via penalty would have made sure Liverpool stayed down, but that wasn't the case.

The first strike by Fernando Torres was very impressive. Mistakes by the once thought best defender Nemanja Vidic gave him the best chance to score against the Man United Keeper Edwin Van Der Sar. What a surprise was that! Who would have thought another goal was to come! Man United Left Back Patrice Evra tackled the Liverpool captain, the England international Steven Gerrard at the penalty box, again giving the referee of the match, Alan Wiley, another chance to give a penalty, this time to Liverpool. Surprising as it is, he let it loose and got another goal to give Liverpool a lead to 2-1.

The second half was anything but boring. A good showing by Fabio Aurelio and Andrea Dossena was unexpected by most. Vidic gave a very bad tug on Gerrard shirt as he was released by Liverpool winger Dirk Kyut gave the referee an easy choice of giving him a red card, sending off Vidic. The match was thought to be over with a 2-1 scoreline, but unexpectingly, left back Fabio Aurelio launched his kick well, scoring another goal impressively at the corner of the net without Man United Keeper Van Der Sar moving at all! A surprising move is that Benitez took out left winger Alberto Riera, midfielder Steven Gerrard, and striker Fernando Torres, for side back Andrea Dossena, winger Nabil El Zhar and winger Ryan Babel respectively. Impressively, for those who thought it will end, they were wrong. The entry of Dossena was more than a surprise. He was released with a lob and managed to run past a Man United defender. With Van Der Sar approaching and the defense coming back, Dossena was forced to lob the ball. All thought it will go out, but it was neatly slot inside the net! Van Der Sar was confident it will go out, looking on only, not expecting a goal again!

It is unbelievable that Liverpool would have won. Blames on Vidic was stacked on after another. It is an impressive showing that could lead Liverpool winning the title, already beating two big teams, Real Madrid and Man United. Who would win? You decide... Thats all folks.

2009-03-11T21:19:00.000+08:00

March Holiday's is around the corner! A week of break is what I need after enduring what I had! Need it soo much! Going to keep this short aights! Have fun everyone! May peace be upon you!

2009-03-10T23:19:00.002+08:00

I feel very fucked up now actually, though not as much as I thought it would be. Seems that people are starting to bastard me all around. I might be paranoid, but I think it is true. Kept on hearing things I didn't expect to hear. Surely being backstabbed hurts more than how I feel? But somehow I think that it is because i am used to it soo much. It was a waste. To know some friends do such a thing hurts me deeply. Heh, maybe the saying was right. ''Keep our friends close, and our enemies closer''. Sucks to have wasted another friendship. Paranioa is a worse fear for those who got hurt. Sometimes, things like this just couldn't be changed. Haish...

Well, I doubt I could write anymore. I will be trying my best to blog in every 2 days. And the Cbox is starting to be a bad idea, since people are wasting their time with putting spams. So might be a change there. Until then, goodbye folks!

2009-03-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

Yes! Got a new template for my blog! Finally! Had to do a lot of editing and such just to make it right. Phew, tiring work. Thanks to Dil for helping me out. If not for him, I would be damn blur. Hehe. Well, that's all!

2009-03-07T19:06:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was tiring. Was up late and got soo tired at school. First period was uhm... History. Had to go all the way to the ITLR 2 at the fourth level at the opposite end from my class. It was tiring and boring. I just sat there listenning to Mr Foo, our History teacher, talking and was trying to make sure I don't fall asleep. After his period ended, we went back to class, to have our favourite ENGLISH lessons! Haha! Lasted for a while and found out somethings which I can't believe. Hehe. Arsyad Arsyad. Hehe. English ended quickly and it went to MT! That is the lesson I was waiting for. Hehe.

At Mother Tougue, we had to go all the way to 501 class, which is at the opposite end and the first level. It was thanks to Khairul, who got his leg injured. Good to see him back, though it was tiring to go all the way there. But it turned out okay, except for getting scolded by Cikgu Aishah. After almost 45 min of standing, we got to seat and we did some Peribahasa learning. And the fun thing was our class is enear the canteen! Hehe! Food all the way! The class ended and bought THREE BURGERS! But two is for Khai so yeah. Hehe. After that, I got to know Ahmad want me to play with him in the Take the Stage. I said okay, if they want me to join then I will. Don't rea;lly mind. So After that was Maths and we goofed around. Though we had to go to class. It was really rowdy actually, but fun. I failed my maths badly and need to relearn everything. I sure hope Mdm Roziana gets us some extra class.

Then at night I had a bad luck streak. My brother and I was suppose to go out and meet our cousins for dinner. We wanted to go out seperately by ended up giong together coz our uncle is picking us up. So we went to the carpark to wait for him, since he wanted to switch to my dad's car. There, we tried to remotely open the car, only to knw the controller was not openning it. We waited and hoped that our uncle had the key, which he did and tried to on it. Only thing is, the battery is dead! After that, we all squeezed in his small car. We drove to Si Mei East Point, and wanted to go to Banquet(Nadjiyyah's Idea) and wasn't that surprise to find it packed. Something was happening, an autograph session. It was crowded as hell and we tried to persuade Nadjjiyyah to switch to Simpang Bedok, which she agreed. Being that there is too much people there, Me, Hakeem(Another Cousin), and my two brothers said we will take a cab. Only that we ended up walking from there to Simpang Bedok. We took like 30mins only! Haha! once there, everyone already was there. It was fun, yet rowdy. Hafiz and Hakeem was a little crazy, with my brothers annoying everyone there, and me, giving out sarcastic comments. But it was fun. Then went to my uncle's house and played Romance of the Three Kingdoms 11! Until 3am!! It was really tiring by then. And me and my two brothers had to walk home. My god my body was tired. We actually managed to reach home before 330am and went straight to sleep, since we are all bloody tired.

Tmr Nadjiyyah goes home to Belgium. It was a short day actually, but it was kinda fun to see all my cousins. Surely do hope she comes again. Heh, well, thats it. I think I oughta go. A lot of things to do, soo little time. Hehe. Till next time folks!

2009-03-05T20:51:00.002+08:00

Somehow I think I should be feeling sad but not anymore. You opened my damn eyes. Great job! Should have known what happen is so predictable. I bet everyone is smirking their way knowing what happened! Great job for fucking it all! I always did wrong right! You never did think of seeing the right things I do! Sacrificing my time and tiring my body just to make you happy, yet here you are bitching bout me!! It so worthless! You are soo typical!! You have no clue how hard it is to be in contact with you even though we broke up right!! Go and care bout your friends!! I couldn't take trying to do anything with you anymore!! Fuck That!!

Well, now that is out of my heart, today ain't so much things. School at 8, and lessons per normal. My eyes was very2 sleepy. First period was SS. I actually survived it without sleeping!! Hard to believe huh? Well, after SS, it was Physics! That was the period I didn't mean to sleep. Somehow I did, and a few others. Hehe, oh well, got to study more on Physics. After that, Maths! That was something I never expect. Mdm Roziana didn't came! That was fun actually. everyone relaxed and I fought Shaun in Fifa09. Too bad I lost, even though I got to equalise at 3-3 though I was down 3-1 in the last 10mins. Heh, lucky bastard. Recess was quick and then Assembly, where we saw a very boring show and Mrs Mani talked crap. After that, ENG!!!! Haha!! The most boring one of all. I fell asleep quickly together with a few others. For about 20 to 25 mins I fell asleep and woke up at around 1. After listening to her talk and Fitri and Shaun talking and wasting time with her, it was home time! Relatively simple day. Heh.

Tomorow my cousin from Australia, Nadjiyyah, is coming!! Actually she already did, only that some people didn't tell. Man was me and my brother pissed. She was already here from Monday! Who knew! Well aside from my auntie that she is staying with. Well, Tmr they are planning to meet, and only me and my two brothers are going I think. I wanted to do something after their dinner, which is very boring at Simei Banquet. Oh well, what can I say... Haish.. Well, tmr I have to go to Simei Alone!! AHH!!! Hope I can get Hafiz to follow me. Hehe.

2009-03-02T17:14:00.002+08:00

Well, now more people know bout me. Good enough. But the class is as rowdy as ever. Fitri, Shaun, and the rest are alot more noisy than before. Sooner or later, the teachers will get pissed. Already Ms Lee, our ENG Teacher, is starting to know how annoying our class is. Heh, soon we shall be in trouble. Oh well. As a class, we stick together. Going to do this quick coz have some things to do. Well, have fun everyone. Keep it cool. Hehe.

Boring

2009-02-27T09:22:00.001+08:00

At Class now man! So crazy have to do alot of things. Ms Lee, my ENG teacher is making us do blogs for St Reflection. So Tiresome. Gonna keep this short. Hehe. This day should be fun. Haha

2009-02-23T16:02:00.002+08:00

It is just funny that I can feel like this. Somehow, even if I thought I am doing what's right it backfires on to me. So I don't know what is wrong or right anymore. What should I have done? Destroy your life more than I already have? Or maybe just ignore you like how you ignore me? I don't know what happened between us, and that's what bugs me the most. Like how I don't know what is happening to you, neither do you know what is happening to me. I don't mind being insulted being with you, heck I would nod along. But the pain comes along when I know you are actually ignoring me when they do that. It gives me such pain to know that they are reminding me of you. Didn't know that, did you?

And ALL the PROMISES I did was truth. I always did love you, and probably still will. I know that I would never have the chance with you again. The fourth time is a unlikely one. Knowing that, I wonder why the heck I fucked up your life. You could have better, yet you chose me of all idiots. I feel like an asshole. But the truth still stands, though I couldn't give you stuff, I still truly did love you.

I knew I couldn't last long if this keeps up. I asked you if you still did love me, and I got an answer I didn't expect. And your ex began to interfere, and I hated that. You wouldn't know about that. It hurts to know such things. I had such a headache the day I took a love away from you. I never wanted it to happen, but it did, and it hurts me too. Somehow, killing myself is something I would never consider, cause of all the effect it will do to all those close to me. So frankly, I don't know what to do anymore. Leaving you is the hardest thing, yet I know you would laugh at me. Heh, who knew you were really the one who took my heart...

Situation!

2009-02-22T12:45:00.002+08:00

Well, today was not the best of days, but not the worst of it. =D Nothing happened I guess. My second mum is coming with my little brothers and sister so I guess it will be fun to see them again after a long while. Wonder how they are now? Will they be gangsters? or like bastard people? or just the same? Well Don't know till today.

As for anything else, it is okay I guess. Think I am okay with what I was hurt about. And thinking staying single now is important. I don't want to fuck up another's life so ya, concentration of my studies is real important now. I will study well and live hard. That's the best I can do eh? hehe. Oh well, gotta go. Time's a wasting! Good luck ya alL!

Enough!

2009-02-21T01:09:00.001+08:00

Well everyone... I think I am officially break up with her... Ya true... Never lasted for 3mths... I am just too hurt to write... So I wish you guys will stop insulting me bout her... If u wan to do something, then beat me up instead... So please stop the insults bout her... Thats all folks...

To Ayg...

2009-02-18T20:03:00.003+08:00

I was left behind,
Amidst the dirt road,
I always thought u were there,
Yet I missed the turn.

I was always there to catch you,
especially when you needed most,
But I couldn't see you anymore,
And the pain in my heart won't leave me.

I know that I love you in my heart,
but my mind thinks otherwise,
Is it possible i was dreaming all this time,
And the reality wasn't even in my grasp.

I don't know what to do anymore,
And frankly I am losing my mind,
if a secret comes between someone,
it will be the end.

From afar I watched you,
expecting you to turn your head to me,
but you didn't,
And left me just to flee.

Secrets are never supposed to be involved,
yet there are things I don't know,
but prying from you is unlikely,
since you are how you are.

The truth is,
I am waiting for you,
I have confessed thousands of times,
yet I only got a laugh or a thanks.

Something is falling apart,
like buildings being torn down,
the heart feels what the mind thinks,
and somehow, I am drifting away.

Laugh, cry, smile or frown,
I don't know what to do with them,
since I could only imagine things,
that might not come true.

This might not be music,
nor poetry,
It is just me,
saying this words to you.

Well, I hope you can understand what I wrote. I don't want to write anymore, cause thinking right now, is as hard as it is. So good luck to everyone.

FUCK!!

2009-02-11T17:17:00.000+08:00

Hmm... Let's see what do I want to say. Not that hard though, I want to know what the F U C K is going on with us. Let's see, you refuse to msg me, refuse to call me back and changed your blog. The whole day I waited for you only to know there wasn't even a single reply from you. Something is wrong and I wanna know. If you want to do something, then tell me straight to the face. I am getting annoyed by this since I can't be with you anymore. Since this is what you do, I dunno what to do anymore. Fine then! If you don't want to talk to me then say it, I won't do anything anymore! Fuck! I dunno what to say anymore!!

A great song!

2009-02-09T23:10:00.001+08:00

Happy 2nd Anniversary Dear!

2009-02-09T22:28:00.004+08:00

Well, it is our second month Ayg, though we faced a lot of problems. It has been a tough time for us, and I exhausted my words to say anything to you. As I think about what to say, all I could think is that I love you until no words can describe it. Who knew such things would be hard to describe. I can only think of you, the times we spent and the kisses we shared. Well, this post is for you Ayg.

As the sun comes down,
I could make out the moon,
As my mind grows weary,
Your face comes in my thoughts,

I always cherish out moment,
the moment where we hugged,
the times where we kissed,
is never to be forgotten,

I know there will be times that is hard,
and how I wish i could wipe those tears away,
But though my heart and soul is near to you,
my body floats away,

But I am not going to give up,
because you are one who I truly love,
I would fly back to you to wipe your tears,
and be the one to be in love with you.

My love, I couldn't describe my love to you,
I could just say it is like the ocean,
Endless in the world,
And you are my moon, pulling me in.

Hmm, I could think of this only because I love you. Though we never meet today, I know i love you more than ever. You have showed me the way to love, and open my heart to places I thought does not exist in my heart. To be with you is something I always loved. You are the one who opened my eyes to this love, and you shall be the one i always love.

Well, to those who don't know who I am with, I am saying it out loud now! I am with Inah, a girl I love deeply. Whoever plans to disturb me, don't disturb her in anything cause I should get anything, not her. Understand this, I don't mind being disturb but leave her out of this. Get it straight.

That's it for this post. I love you Ayg! Muacks! Happy 2nd anniversary! Good luck everyone!

2009-02-08T04:22:00.000+08:00

Gotta be Happy!

2009-02-08T01:55:00.002+08:00

Well, after a while of not posting, I am finally doing it. Been lazy so not my fault. This week, nothing big or anything. Monday, went to school and all, and tired after that. The only eventful thing that happened was a fight which I don't want to recall. It was a dark day then. But anyways, other more less interesting things happen. Such as the 108 PSL, excluding Fitri, went to the class and chatted and annoyed them. They seemed to be okay, though I hear of some racist things happening to the class. It was then I remembered how my class was in 103.

The start was that I met with Ahmad, though the idiot thought I was Chinese. The first words from him was, What time is it now? I was surprised that he thought I was Chinese. Hehe. After that, we got to know Izuwan and Izzuddin. The four of us stuck together, with the class in total disorder with their cliches. The four of us, Shaun with Fitri and Ridhwan, Ashaidil by himself, the malay girls, chinese girls, the Chinese boys and Indian boys. It was a rough time where we were not united. It was pretty childish when I think of it again. We always fought against Shaun and the gang. Ironic.

But when Sec 2, we got closer. Ashaidil became more open, though still act step. Lol. But it was all okay after that. Sec 3, the worse I thought, was when me and the three pals broke up. A simple misunderstanding and betrayal easily made our three year friendship fall. I don't know who to blame but somehow, an idiot blames it on me. What can I say, they say best friends would defend their pals. But somehow I didn't found best friend. But it is in the past.

Sec 4 was okay. We were really united and did a lot of things together. Unlike the previous years, I became close to Shaun and Ragu somehow. We were together, with Clarence and Gou En. It was then me, Shaun and Clarence went in the EV Idol! It was a fun time, where we won and got to see a stupid act by the bassist of Ahmad's group. Seriously, Hey there Delilah has no bass, and when playing Broken by Seether, know the chords and play the right strings. That was fun.

Now comes Sec 5. I don't know what might happen. But I know our class are really close this time. We bonded to something I would have not expect from 103. So, to those who stuck with me from 103 to 502, it has been a great trip. I enjoyed it well.

Now on to another side. The weekends! It was actually fun, I guess. I got to meet my love and always went home late. But I liked it since I got to be with her. It was fun! Holding her and all, it was like going up to heaven. And please, if you are planning to insult me, don't insult about her, just me. But gosh I missed her. We wanted to watch a movie actually but she keeps on having something. Today, she said she had a problem with Fiq so we didn't go. She promised tommorow but will it come? I don't know. But I frankly don't care. Being with her is enough. I don't mind being anywhere as long as it is with her. Well, I think this is as much as I could write. Gotta relax. Remember all, be happy aight. And Shaun, sorry bout what happened that time. It was something I regret.

And Ayg, I'll love you and miss you and will be waiting on Monday, 9th of February. I will always remember it. Muacks! Peace ya'all!

This song has alot of meaning...

2009-02-02T22:15:00.000+08:00

Been A While

2009-01-29T18:24:00.004+08:00

Well, it has been a while since I posted. Never had the time. Now I have. Haha. Well, let's just say this week was.... fun. I really love this week. Haha. Let see, the beginning is always a good place to start, so Monday it will be!

Well, Monday was not that fun, at least I think it isn't. I have a short memory cause of Wednesday. But we will get to that later. Hmm, let's skip Monday to Tuesday shall we? Well, Tuesday is more exciting than Monday. I went out very2 early to meet Ayg, at around 9am. We were so tired. Haha. We walked to Afgan Mac and ate Hotcakes! Woohoo! First time I ate that. Weird but nice. Lol! Well, after that, we went to pondok and just sat there waiting for her friends. It was somewhat romantic to be with her. Embracing her and all, oh my god! I wanna be with her all the time! It was sweet, that was until someone came and break it. We panicked and acted as if we weren't anyone, that's cause we don't want anyone to know yet.

But after a while, we got to know the person, who shall not be named, already knew bout us. I was like Crap! That was worthless. But after that I had to go to my mum's shop, which was pretty boring. After an hour or so, Ayg and her friends came there, but my mum's sour mood made them go away. God damnit! If only we could stay longer. After that I got to run away from the shop, and from there, I went to Pasir Ris Park! I met Ayg and her friends again and we went to the beach and relaxed there. The wind on my face always made me turn and look at her face. She was so beautiful. I really love the way she looked. And then, there is something that happened that no one will know of. That is only for me and her to know. After going back, I felt so pained! I miss her really much, and being away from her hurts me alot.

Wednesday was the day I was suppose to be going to School. Well, I thank god for breaking down my dad's car coz the battery went dead. He said I didn't need to go to school and I was sooo Happy! At 12, I went to meet Ayg, again. Haha, it seems I can never keep my eyes out of here. We went to pondok again where yet again, we waited so long for her friends. I was happy actually, I get to be with her for that long. It was yet another romantic, yet ironic time. She kept disturbing me and all. But, since I can't describe what happened, we will skip that part. After meeting her friends, we went straight to DTE. There, more friends came, but she still kept close to me. I am surprised that I don't mind showing people I love her anymore. I think I love her so much that I don't care who is with us. I will just show them. After eating KFC, we went to the beach yet again! And this time it was really nice. The sun just set and we, as in 9 ppl, just relax there. Syafiq and Firdaus kept smoking. While I just sat with her. I keep missing her touch. I kept looking at her in the eyes, though the others are very annoying and kept disturbing us. Well, after that, we went to Costa Sands to meet one of their friends, and I sat there bored. She was talking to someone so I just relax. After that, we went to the carpark, the open space one. There, Afiqah and her boyfriend Amaran relax at a corner, and me and my lover took the center. Fiq and his gang of bachelor and bacheloratte went to one side. And then they went away to buy water. Just then, I felt very close to her.

Syg, You make my heart melt. your touch is unbelivable. I never thought I could feel this way bout someone, but you made me change. I love you very deeply. Cherishing you in my heart always my love. It is very hard to go without you. I will never live on without you. Ayg, I will wait for you, and I know you will too. I love you soo much. I miss the time we had, and the kisses we shared. I always think about that. I love you syg, and I can't stress how much I love you.

Well, that's it. I can't keep on talking bout her even though I wanna. Not my fault I keep on thinking about her. Well, continuing the story. Nothing else happen I guess, I went back from the place at 1030. I must say I would die but being with her I love it already. I don't mind the consequences. Then on to Thursday, as in today! Back to school! Nothing fun happened. Few quirks and my heart missing her. I watched this movie that is chinese called Wedding or something like that. I was really sad there. I always remembered what happened yesterday with you ayg. I couldn't take it. I wanted to get out of the theatre and go and meet you syg. But I knew I couldn't. It was a real sad moment for me. Wonder if anyone felt this way before. Well, that's it i guess. I am too tired to continue. Now on to homework! And also wishing my love was here! Haish... Sad sometimes you know. well, good bye and good luck everyone!

I think of you

2009-01-14T20:01:00.002+08:00

Everytime I hear this, I remembered you Ayg. This song I heard when I looked at the moon during my camp. I missed you then and I missed you now. This song was something that relates to me. Even when we are close, I hear this song in the back of my mine. I love you too much now. I know we will be together forever. I miss you Ayg! And I can't wait to be with you. I love you Ayg!

Mood: Missing her

2009-01-14T16:58:00.003+08:00

Well, another day I thought I could write. Got pretty bored today. Two days in a row I woked up later than I thought I should. Somehow my body system is disoriented. Who knows why. Hmm... Maybe I just need more rest, though I do sleep early yesterday and still woke up late. Wierdo! Haha. But today wasn't so special. School and school all the way. The only good thing is I get to go home early, but it was fruitless since I didn't meet her. It sucks! So I went back home, silent all the way, and eventually tried to think quietly.

I just got to know Ayg won't be coming to the shop. When I heard that, my heart felt like it was going to come out and get beaten. I seriously was waiting for the weekends to enjoy with her. Yet now, I couldn't. I wanna be with her all the time but it is so hard with everything! Unfairness! This sucks, that means from now till Monday I might not meet her. I could just kill myself now.( Don't worry Ayg, I won't. I nga u so tk kan nk mati kn diri I kn)

But I really want ot enjoy my time with her. I know nothing will happen but I want to be with her all the time. I trust her friends and know they will protect her. But not being with her just breaks my heart. How long must this last. Haish.

I wanna be with you no matter what,
When the sun comes, I could feel your touch,
As I look to the moon, Your face appears in my mind,
You are always in my thoughts,
Day or night,
But seeing you is the sight I enjoy the most,
Without you, I always thought of you,

Ayg, the two of us know it will be hard,
Yet here we are together,
The trouble we will face,
Will be solved by our love,
No one will interfere,
But the two of us,
I love you Ayg,
And this words are no ordinary words,
For it is said to you,
An extraodinary girl,
From deep in my heart,
Love you Ayg!

Well, I am done with this time. Keep on thinking bout you Ayg. Wish I can be with you all day. My heart is with you Ayg, no matter what. Love you Ayg! And I am gone!

Relaxing day!

2009-01-12T21:38:00.002+08:00

Well, today was the first day of school of week 2. It was quite average like every other school days, only this time it was the O level results. Ayg was so afraid and kept on saying that she will fail but I never believed her. I kept on telling her no matter what she will still have me by her side. I know she will pass and told her not to worry too much. If only she heeded my advice! Haha!

Well woke up at 630, late considering where I live. But somehow I managed to arrive there at 7. *confused* Yes, I did that. Hmm, something is fishy around here. But oh well, I am lucky I guess. I went through the day with nothing happening, except for Ayg not sleeping. I told her to sleep and yet she didn't. Haiyo! But at least she looked happy enough with her results. She got 26 points! She was so happy that it bought a smile out of my own face. Congrats Ayg! I told you, you can do it. I always believed you!

Hmm, after school went to CD for a while to see the 'fire' work. Remembered when Izuwan make the car. Ironic much! But after that rushed to meet Ayg. Sat down with her and her friends for a while at the park. I could feel her warmth as I am with her. My heart beat for her everytime. Man, how I missed her. At least I got to see her these days. I missed her many2! Haha.

Well, with that she wanted to go to Eunos. I wanted to follow but she refused. She wanted me to go back and do homework. Man, I wanted to be with her more. But we went up the bus 21 and I went to Shaun's house to take 27. But in those few moments, I feel that I know I love her. I never will want to find love if i am with her. No matter what people think, I love her and want to be with her. To hell with others! She is someone I cherish and love deeply. Even words can't describe how much I love her. Well, that's it. Iam too tired to continue so I am gone. Have fun everyone, Live on properly! And Love you Ayg!

Feeling Down

2009-01-10T16:43:00.002+08:00

The day after my anniversary with the one I love. It was a fun day with her yesterday. We enjoyed our outing together and even though I was tired, I felt energetic around her. Went to the beach and enjoyed the sights of the ocean, Moon and sky till 9. Then we went on to relax around and took the bus back. I felt happy to finally see her after a while and knew then and there I couldn't live without her. The one true love.

Ayg, I am seriously sorry bout yesterday. I didn't mean to break my promise to you. I love you and these words are not just normal words from me to you. It is from deep in my heart. I hope you forgive me for my act yesterday. I screwed up. I seriously felt bad for doing it yesterday. I want to talk to you face to face so it will be easier. I don't want to make the same mistakes like the last time. I know I am wrong and I will keep on begging for your forgiveness no matter what to gain back what I lost from you.

This is what I can write now. I couldn't think with my love angry at me. I am really disoriented until she forgive me. All I can think about is her and nothing else. Even eating is not important to me now. All I want is for Ayg to love me again and forgive me for what I did.

The Second Post

2009-01-09T12:55:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the long awaited post everyone. There is not much to say I guess. Got back from a very tiring camp controlling Sec 1. It was kinda stupid since we have to go to Sembawang Bottle Tree Park but had to go back due to an incident. And my group 108 had to wait for like 2 hrs to just go back to School. It was really stupid since it was only the first night and this happen.

Day two was kinda better than the last. Group 108 became a little more livelier, with the girls becoming very active. The boys are kinda lazy but still became active soon after. I noticed that this time it is different. The girls are active while guys are easily tired and complain. How the world turn about nowadays! But still. it was pretty fun and quite tiring. The campfire was exciting. My group was picked third and we practiced for quite a while before. It was kinds exciting. Especially a pure Russian guy named Stefan or something around that. He has quick feet and very cool, especially his accent. He could almost break dance. And after that the Peer Support Leader who are Sec 5 played I'm Yours and Live High by Jason Mraz. And then all the Sec 4 PSL came. Extras. They were not suppose to come up. But whats done is done.

Day Three was short. A simple breakfast and clean up and we are done. Not much to say, except this girl I have in my group. She has mood swings that she cries suddenly for no apparent reason. All of us leaders in the group was skeptical, Shaun, Fitri, Ragu, Dil, Amirul and me. Eventually she became better but still have mood swings. I do hope she can get better. Dangerous to be like this. But as the camp drew to a close, we have another memory to remember. It was fun and interesting and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Good Bye camp! Live on Sec 108! And good luck Chee Tat and Joshua!

After all that, I can only say I miss someone so much. I felt pained that only after a few minutes away from her. And I was really sad when I knew my Anniversary with her is on the camp itself, 9th. But at least we get away earlier so its okay. I had to help my mom today but I don't know since I have to celebrate my Anniversary with Ayg. But something happened. My mom said I don't need to! Yeehah! We can finally go out Ayg! Away from you, I search for you, When I am close to you, I will never want to let you go. I promised you that I will be with you no matter what. And after A month together, I felt as though we have been together for years. My one and true love, I will never let you go. Happy 1 month Anniversary Ayg!

Well, that's it I guess. Since everyone wanted me to update this, Here it is! So have fun everyone. Like Jason Mraz said, Live High!

Opening of Maverick's space!

2008-12-26T15:52:00.002+08:00

This is what I like to call the start of a new beginning. Hello everyone! Nizam aka Mr Maverick here. I just did this blog for the fun of it to waste my time away. Hope you all enjoy it. Oh Yeah, please comment and tag this place already aight!